Nittany Knits

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Tonight starts the 7-10 day cycle of white blood cell transfusions.

We managed to avoid this step in mid April, yet here we are at the end of May doing exactly what we thought we wouldn't have to do. We are promised that this will be rough. These little buggers are the mean cells. We have been told to expect to go to PICU.

Ten weeks ago today I learned my daughter was in a hospital, and today she is no better than she was that first day. As a matter of fact, she would probably argue that she feels a lot worse. And she will feel a lot worse before the next 7-10 days are over.

Today was a whirlwind full of tests, many doctors, and a lot of tough choices. In the midst of it all came Miss Bonnie and her hubby with a lovely gift. I had no more than two blips of a second to say, "Thank You" and be wisked away to talk to two more people waiting to talk everything over with me as my daughter waited for me with three different machines beeping. Chaos.

Let me say thank you to not only Miss Bonnie for her wonderfully thoughtful presents, but to everyone that I never have more than that amount of time to thank. Please know that there is not one spare moment in my life at this hospital, and while I feel horrible that I cannot properly tell you all how wonderful your support is, I just do not have time away from the madness that is surrounding us. There is no down time. I am always hit at some time during a day how little time I have to thank everyone of you who have baked, prayed, driven, supported (emotionally and financially) my family and myself. I feel horrible that I can't thank you properly for the love you show us constantly. I also know that I cannot spend one less second than I am with my children, and thank yous are going to have to wait to be done properly. We are exhausted from how much time it takes to be sick at Hopkins. I am so done in I could not wake up to take my son to school yesterday. I have nothing left, and we are just starting on the tough part.

Thank you everyone. We cannot do this without your prayers and support!

Please forgive me for not answering phones and getting back to your kind messages, and in general being a walking posterchild of how not to be Emily Post. I really really wish I could let you know how beautiful you all are. I just can't right now.

Please please please pray for her the next 7-10 days!!! We can only pray that her medical team is doing what is best and this will eventually help to bring her home.

Happy knitting.

9 Comments:

  • your strength is amazing!

    hang in there...

    By Anonymous Christina from Chevy's, at 2:10 AM  

  • You are a constant thought and prayer in my mind. I know you can get through this. You are one of the strongest people I know.

    Hang in there and please know everyone is praying their hardest!

    By Blogger Javajem, at 10:11 AM  

  • I had no idea until just now that you had the news yesterday. When we were on the way up I said to Bobby, "It may be just shoving the box in the door at her you know". As I have said before, I get it.

    These things are true:

    1. You know that all of us love the two of you. We know you love us.
    2. We do what we can and pray for you constantly. You would do the same for us.
    3. You say what you have time for because you have to make priorities.
    4. We are here, we have time for you and have egos of steel.

    Forgive you? For what?

    By Blogger tinkknitz, at 11:33 AM  

  • Do not waste one precious second thinking about thanking folks. I believe we do what we can to help and give, not to receive thanks in return. Your energies are better spent with your children and seeing that everyone gets healthy. Really, you are an inspiration.
    Hugs to you and Brie and Alex.

    By Blogger brsmaryland, at 1:31 PM  

  • Sweet Holl...here you are, still thinking of everyone else. No apologies are necessary. Know that you are being held in pure love and healing as is Brie... also for peace in surrendering wherever possible. You are in my heart. Love you both very much.
    Jessie

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:46 PM  

  • You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. I miss you a bunch and would love to come visit when she is feeling better. With this much prayer and support and most of all your strength by her side I have no doubts things will get better sooner rather than later. And stop worrying about others and take care of yourself so you have more to give to Brie. If you need a laugh, I decided to try my hand at knitting with all of my unemployed free time, it is horrid, I wish I could post a picture. Anyhow, lots of love.

    ~Tina

    By Blogger Bar Wench, at 7:24 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    By Blogger Bar Wench, at 9:55 AM  

  • Oh, I completely forgot to tell you. In case you haven't had a chance to watch the tele, (I really need to stop watching so much BBC) Top Chef is to the final 4 and your girl Lisa is still in :)

    Thoughts and prayers,

    ~Tina

    By Blogger Bar Wench, at 9:58 AM  

  • Praying non-stop for you and Girl. You are an amazing woman and she's just like her Mama.

    (and if you ever try to do an Emily Post on me, I'll be sending it back. So there.)

    By Blogger The Flying Knitter, at 3:32 PM  

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